In the past I've written numerous columns about taxes, but the other inevitable aspect of life that I have neglected is death.

From a financial planner's perspective, death is not as much of an issue for the deceased as it is an issue for those left behind. In our practice, we work a lot with widows and widowers about how to manage their personal finances in the absence of their spouse. There are a couple of lessons we have learned that are worth sharing.

First, too often one spouse has managed the financial affairs in a relationship without much involvement from the other spouse. When the spouse who managed the money dies, the remaining spouse is not only left to deal with the grief, but also with learning a new skill that may take years to acquire.

If you play the role of your family's chief financial officer, my advice is to share the process with your spouse on how you manage the household finances. At minimum, develop a relationship with a trusted advisor now who can help when you're gone.

Second, allow the grieving process time to work before making any significant financial decisions. We typically recommend waiting at least one year after a spouse's death before making a housing change or other major life decisions. You need the time to make the transition from your old familiar life together to your new future alone. This period is not the time to be literally stumbling around someplace new, trying to find the light switch in the middle of the night.

Finally, there are many resources available for further information on this topic. For a more general discussion on going through life transitions, we rely on William Bridges' work, "Transitions - Making Sense of Life's Changes."

Another book targeted specifically at widows' personal finance needs is, "On Your Own - A Widow's Passage to Emotional and Financial Well-being," by Alexandra Armstrong. A more widely recognized work on grieving is Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' book, "On Death and Dying," originally published in 1969.

While the focus of this article has been on grieving in the context of the death of a spouse, it may also be worthwhile to recognize that grieving can occur anytime you experience a major loss or even change in your life. The tools for grief are not restricted to just the death of a spouse but can provide a framework and context for many other experiences in life.

Justus Morgan is a certified financial planner with Financial Service Group Inc., a registered investment advisory firm at 4812 Northwestern Ave., on the Web at http://www.toyourwealth.com.